Why Would Wonder Woman Need Batman or Superman?

There are rumors and rumors of rumors that Wonder Woman will be putting in an appearance in the next Superman vs. Batman movie. The latest Man of Steel casting rumor is that Olga Kurylenko did a major test for the role. This is a movie that already has the first on-screen pairing of the two biggest superheroes in the history of Metropolis. Does it really need a third superhero? Shouldn’t they let Batman and Superman get acquainted, find an excuse to dump Robin, and bring Wonder Woman in later when the initial shock and awe wears off? Well, tie me up with a golden lasso and I’ll tell you the truth.

The truth is I’d rather see Wonder Woman on screen than either Superman or Batman tied up together or sold in individually wrapped packages. Wonder Woman or Marvel Girl or Ms. Marvel any of the women superheroes. I’d like to see Xena up there too. Or another Power Puff Girls movie. I miss those kids. Most especially, I’d like to see the more female supervillains, like Catwoman,  Hypnota or Faora. But why do they have to share time with these two swinging dicks? I think Wonder Woman should be unleashed on the world in all her superheroic glory solo. Let her build up her own audience while Supe and the caped crusader battle for screen time. Wonder Woman can star with the winner.

Superman and Batman have dozens of movies out about them already. They been franchised and refranchised and disenfranchised and rebooted and recast too many times. Wonder Woman got a goofy TV show back in the seventies. She paved the way for Xena and Sheena and Bubbles and Agent Scully, but does she get any respect? When Wonder Woman flies she hits the same glass ceiling as Roseanne Barr did.

The latest name on the rumor mill is Olga Kurylenko. The 33-year-old actress starred in the films Paris, Je'Taime, Hitman, Max Payne, Quantum of Solace, Centurion, To the Wonder, Seven Psychopaths and Oblivion. Kurylenko will also be playing a demon-fighting criminal psychologist in in the upcoming horror film, Mara that might be more fun than it S.U.N.D.S. She recently shot a series of commercials for the Waldorf-Astoria. She was born in the Ukraine. I love her, but Wonder Woman is supposed to be the ultimate All-American Woman. I have no problem with outsourcing, really, and I’m part Slav myself, but haven’t we thrown a lot of American Icons overseas? Even Lincoln is played by a Brit. And I’m not talking about Walking Dead’s Andrew Lincoln, Ian Anderson’s son in law. Or am I?

At least Olga agrees that Wonder Woman shouldn’t be relegated to third wheel, she says "You've got very few female superheroes that are dominating films these days, unless they're in a skintight outfit and their boobs are pushed up to their chin. … If you're going to make Wonder Woman, make it like The Bourne Supremacy.  … At least make her grow a pair."

That wouldn’t have happened if Ally McBeal creator David Kelly’s Wonder Woman came off. Joss Whedon told Entertainment Weekly “I don’t think she lends herself to television. I think she only works on an epic scale. I saw a bit of the David E. Kelley [pilot]. That was not a good marriage.”

Lynda Carter played Wonder Woman on TV starting in 1975 and I've loved her since she went up against Martin Mull as the Pied Piper. She says Warner Bros should put a woman writer on the case. Wonder Woman has not made a live action appearance on screen since Carter's series was cancelled in 1979.  Wonder Woman shouldn’t have to work her way up through the ranks. She’s already part of The Justice League with Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, the Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, Captain Marvel, Black Canary, the Atom, Hawkman, Elongated Man, Red Tornado, Firestorm, Zatanna, Hawkgirl and Cyborg. Let them compete for air time with Superman and Batman and give Wonder Woman the franchise she always deserved.

So, elect Superman for president, let Robin save the day and don’t overcrowd the new Man of Steel. Having said all that, I personally would be more inclined to see the Man of Steel sequel if it had Wonder Woman in it. I’m sure she’d steal it. Warner Bros. thinks she needs a man around? How fucking sexist. Even if he is a man of steel.

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